Welcome to my life...

Back in Penang

After my St. Pet trip, finally I'm back in Penang last week. Though already a week, I'm still suferring from jet lack. Now, I cannot sleep, not until at 2-4am everyday.

Anyway, I just started my elective posting today. I'm posted in O&G department, first time there. New department, new experience. The environment there is different from A&E department that I used to post last time. Things I learned there are very different. And it was the first time I saw delivery. I met a super MMA senior who is currently a houseman there.Then I followed the housemen and the doctors for rounds. During the rounds, the doctor asked a lot of questions, kinda of scary. I suddenly felt that it is so important our oral exams are :p

I applied for A&E this year too, however, already full. But praise God, I talked to the Head of department, and he allow me to help out there...Felt so happy, like I got a dream job or something :p

Love and Relationship

I learnt a lot about relationship and love last week. After having "Love Factor" last Saturday, the next day, Pastor John Ollis from Australia had a meeting with all the guyz in MF. Then yesterday, a special speaker came to our church and preaches about love. These messages spoke to me a lot.

I still remember when I was 17-18 years old, I asked a lot of people the same question:"What is love?" Well, I think people like my age now are pairing up now. A lot of new couples started their relationship since after we arrived to Moscow, including mine and Xin Yun's. However, there were also some of broke up cases too. I guess a lot of us until now do not understand the meaning of love and personally, I think this is the reason of breaking ups.

Well, I'm still not very sure that I really understand and know exactly what love is, and I'm still a rookie in this, but these are the things I learnt last week.

First of all, there are differences between love and like. I guess a lot of people knew these and most probably the differences they think are like, "like" is a stage before "love", or "like" is used in friendships and "love" is used in BGRs. Well, I can't say they are completely wrong, but they are not as simple as that and movies always get the meaning of "love" wrong.

The main differences are:

1. "Love" is a commandment and "like" is not

Love is a commandment from God. We must love everyone, your friends, your family, your lover, your neighbours, anyone, even your enemies (Matthew 5:44). Love is not only for your lover. God is love, and the Bible says those who love Jesus will follow what He says and He said that we must love God and our neighbours (people around us). On the other hand, like is not a command. The Bible never said:"Thou shall like your neighbours", but "LOVE your neighbours".

2. Love does not hope for any repay. Love belongs to the area of obedience and faith, while liking belongs to the area of feeling.

Perhaps a lot of people will ask their partners:"Why do you love me?", and to be honest, I got this question a lot of times from Xin Yun but the answer I always give is: "I don't know.", because seriously, I really don't know. But there are also a lot of people say:"I love him/her, because..." but this is wrong. When we love a person, we don't hope from any repay. We should not, because if we do, and when the "repay" is not like we expected, we will feel disappointed and frustrated.

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? (Matthew 5:46)

And love also does not have "but then"s, for example, "I love her, but then..." Because if we love someone else, we must accept whoever the person is. There are no perfect man/woman in this world. Always remember this, we are not in Heaven, that's why nobody is perfect here. We must see things not only the body shape and face of a woman but see through their hearts because the body shape will change when she's pregnant and their face will not by as attractive as usual when they just wake up without their make up on. For guyz, we should not expect that our wives in future must do all the housework and take care of kids all the time, because we should not think that: "I love my wife, because she do my laundry and mop the floor when I am busy."

3. Love is action and like is just an emotion.

We must do something to show that you love. I remember our pastor always says:"We can give without loving, but we can't love without giving." I'm not telling you guyz to give without loving, what I mean is if we love someone, we must give up something, well, again, I'm not telling you to give up your career/studies/God. Maybe I'm not a good example to say this because I'm a workaholic, but seriously, just spend a bit of time with your partner.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His only son..." God gave His only son to the world, not only to Christians. God can scarify His only son for us to show His love, what's wrong to scarify some time for your partner and for the people around you?

Like is just an emotion and it would not last. However, a lot of people confuse this emotion with love and finally the relationship ended badly.

A lot of people think that being a Christian is very hard, as there are so many rules and commandments to follow. Some even say that these rules/commandments are forcing people and cause people facing hardship in their life. But personally (don’t correct or not), I think the foundation of Christianity is built on Love and Faith, two simple words. By loving God and have faith that He’s coming back very soon, it is easy to obey God’s rules/commandments.

This is what the Bible says about love

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails…

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love….”

Pray more and ask for God’s will, ask for God’s guidance when seeking for a partner. To know God’s will, there are four things we need to seek, this four things need to line up, it is called the Harbor Lights teaching:

1.    Word of God

2.    Peace of God

3.    Circumstances

4.    Godly counsel

Well, I think that’s all for this time. It’s very late now, very sleepy n blur now. :p You guyz can go and visit www.malaysianfellowship.blogspot.com for more information about the preaching about love during Love Factor.

GBU and good night…

I'm sick. Fever, running nose, sore troat...typical flu symptom. Today is the 3rd day already. It just come and go. Just hope that tomorrow I'll be fine. Don't want to miss any class and still got a lot of stuff I need to do. But thankGod, I got Xin Yun to take care of me. Now, I'm sleeping on my bed while I'm writing this blog, because I'm too free now but don't feel like studying. Maybe just give some updates of my life recently.

In fact, a lot of people  are sick. I think most probably is the change of weather. It is getting warmer here. Soon, it will be even hotter than Malaysia and you can't survive without a fan..

Anyway, I'll be going to Singapore this July to celebrate Xin Yun birthday and currently finding a place to stay. I'll be visiting City Harvest, I think. Anyway, who knows where is City Harvest in Penang?

I'll be going for a mission trip on August. Thank God that He uses me.

Oh ya, my mom like Xin Yun a lot. She got her trust. Sometimes, I even thought that she is her daugther.

Now, buzy preparing for this Saturday Love Factor.That's why need to get well soon.

Ok, hungry already. Got to go now. Guyz, take care and God bless.

Misunderstanding

How should we deal with those people who misunderstood you? Just ignore it? I just don't know what is the answer.

Guy A and Girl B were couples. However, after a short while, this relationship brought pressure Guy A, because Girl B is a type of girl that needed a lot of attentions, but A still need to handle his work. A tried his best to spend more time with the B, but it was still not enough. He did what he can. This problem troubled A for at least a month. A was sad. During this time, Girl C was the one who was with A during troubled times. Everytime when A cried, C will be there to comfort him. And everytime, C will just help A to find a solution to solve A & B problem, but things just can't work out between A & B. Until one day, A finally made a decision. A knew that since he himself can't give what B needed the most (attention), so he decided to break up with B. A and B were sad. Both of them cried.

However, during the troubled times, A & C eventually fell in love with each other. After breaking up with B, soon, A and C started. First, both of them thought that they should keep the relationship in low profile, because A don't want B to misunderstand that the reason breaking up with her is because of C and he don't want to destroy the friendship between himself and B. After a few months, when everything seems to be cooled down, A introduced C to B as his girl friend. However, A never knew that B already know it and she was still angry with A.

A worst nightmare came true, B really thought that A and B broke up is because of C, but C is actually the most innocent person in the whole drama. C helped a lot when A and B were facing problems.

At first, A thought that maybe when time goes by, the sorrow/anger in B will just fade away, but today, when A read B's articles in a forum accidentally, it proves A theory is a mistake. Time doesn't heal a person. But, why when everytime when there's a crisis in a relationship, one party will always blame the other side? And why everytime guy will take all the blames? And why people always think that he/she is the "pitiest" fella in the relationship? Why can't we just be a man (in case of female, woman :p), just stand up and take the blame? Why must one side tell everyone is the other side's fault and never ever thought of what "role" he/she him/herself played in the crisis? What is his/her responsibilities?

Just want to say, when we always think that we are the "pitiest" people in the world, then we will be. I just hope that all of us can just forget the past, don't dwell in it, because you will soon loss your way can can't find a way out. Just continue to step forward and look at the future, because you will see hope...

GBU :)

Something to share

Well, I'm still not an expert or something, but this is what I learned this few year since I converted and I would like to share it.

Previously, I thought spreading the Gospel needs a lot of words, Bible verses, preaching, debating and talking and it is not an easy task. So, I prayed, asking God to teach me a way to spread the Gospel.

But, as I go, I found out that the more you preach to the unbelievers, the more they will run away from you. People around us are sensitive, as soon as they found out that you want to spread the Word, they will run away as quick as possible. So, we can't do that.

So, slowly, God reveals the way and I think I should conclude it into three points: Be relevant, Be a Blessing and Be an example.

Be relevant-It means that we have to get into their life. Like what they like to do, as long as it is not against the instructions God given us, we just follow. But, remember, stay focus on God, don't let them influent you. Like Jesus came down from Heaven and live among us but He did no sin. For example, there is a pastor, he try to spread the Word to a gang of teenagers and they like basketball. So, the pastor said he will play basketball with them, but before going home, just give him five minutes to talk about Jesus. And it works :) We are living in the world now, that's why we can't isolate ourselves. Jesus said go and spread the Gospel and He meant go, as in go out, and not only in church or among our Christian friends. We can’t build a bunker and people can't go in. Or like a boat on the ocean, when we see someone then only bring him up onto the boat. In fact, go down into the water and find them. Personally, I don't really agree with some people that they just go directly to a stranger and said:"I want to be a friend of yours." Then after a while, they start talking about the Gospel. People would not click with that person and sometimes it might make things worse. People might just reject it and maybe have a bad impression about Christianity. That's why, be relevant is important.:)

Be a blessing-Be a blessing to people. Once your are relevant with people and you can mix with them, you will know their needs. If you can, just give then what they need, give them help in any time if possible, give even extras, as God commended. Giving is a act of loving, it shows that we love them."For God so loved the world...", and they are part of the world, that's why we should love them too. Sometimes even we can't really help them, we can pray for them. Not always need to tell them that you are praying for them but God will do His miracles. Don't worry about giving, as you give, God will return it to you with bonus :p

Be an example-Basically just do what we said ourselves. Follow what Christ said and just do it. People will see and think:"Hey, there is something different about this fella." Then let them find out themselves and let them say themselves:"Oh, he's different because he attended church." or "Oh, because he is a follower of Christ". Then, people might feel interested. If so, people will feel offended or uncomfortable, no misunderstanding occurred and seed is planted in their heart, waiting for God to let it grow.

God has His plan for them so no worries. When it's time to grow, it will.

Well, this is what I learned this few years. Hope that I didn't say anything worng :P

GBU :)

My Journey Continued...

Got my emergency cert done today. And praise God that I'm allowed to continue to study in Moscow and only reapply a new passport when I'm going back for my summer break. So, I'm still following my plan, going back to Riga then take a train back to Moscow.

Anyway, I really appreciate the understanding and efficiency of Malaysian Embassy in Stockholm. They tried all their best to assist me, knowing that I'll be going back tomorrow, one of the officer is willing to sacrify her own lunch time to help me, though I'm not Government-Sponsored student. This really touched my heart.

Despite all the these incident, I still got some time to enjoy my trip in Stockholm, though it's not really much time. First, we went to an open air museum by bus and the bus driver is a Malaysian, staying near JB. Then we took a ferry to the old town.

While waiting for my emergency cert, we went to an chinese restaurant and had a buffet lunch. Then after I got my letter, we went back to the old town and buy souveniers.

Our flight tomorrow will be on 12 something. Pray that everything will pass fine.

My Glasgow-Paris-Stockholm Trip

A lot of things happened before and during this trip. Before we even started the trip, we heard that some of Malaysian students got stucked at the immigration department, because of recent increase of false Malaysian passports. So, we got to get to Malaysian Embassy to get a letter stating that our passports are genuine.

When we reached Glasgow, the immigration officers questioned us a lot. However, we do enjoyed ourselves in Glasgow. People are so friendly there. We took a city sightseeing tour and met some tour guide who are very nice. At night, I met Kim Chuan in Glasgow and had dinner together.

The next day, we took a flight to Paris. Well, everything goes smoothly in Paris, people are very nice there. They are not as unfriendly as we used to think, though we spoke English with them, they still willing to help us. In conclusion, they are nice. We met a French couple at Disneyland, we just simply ask them for recommendations of French food, they took it so seriously, they even called back to they office to ask for us. Then, the next day, we went to the recommended restaurant, it was fully booked, then we asked other people and they also so willing to help us and suggested that let him call someone to ask for another restaurant and make a booking for us. In the restaurant, the waiter was so friendly too. However, our last day in Paris, when we are in the airport, we had problems with our check in laugage, we wanted to pay for our check in laugage by cash, but they insisted us to pay by credit card. We explained that we don't have one, as our parents don't allow us to use it but they still insisted. And their suggestion is that we ask from other passangers to pay for us by credit card and we pay them back using cash. So, we asked the airport personel, if we asked her for her credit card, will her borrow us, she said she can't, because this is their airport policies. But people also got their own principle, not to get/borrow their credit cards to some strangers, right? And don't you think it is rediculous, how can an airport doesn't accept cash? The reason they gave? The airline doesn't have an account in France, that's why they can't accept cash like that. And if we can't find a credit card, they will stop us from flying. I think an airport personel should be helping passangers to solve problems but not to create problems for them. And somemore it's not our problem, right? We are willing to pay, but they don't want to accept. I was so angry until I scoulded the airport personel and she said she will call the police. This is really stupid. The most rediculous airport I had ever been. And they ruined my whole vacation mood!

Anyway, when we reached Stockholm, again, we had some problems, this time, failling to withdraw money from ATM at the airport, only some of us can, luckily, at least we can buy our bus tickets to Stockholm City Centre. When we reached city centre, we put down our bags and go and find ATM to withdraw some money, with some of our friends looking after our bags. However, when we were back, I found out that my slingbag is missing and my passport is in it. We went search for it but we couldn't find anything around the bus terminal. So, I had to went to the police station to report. And tomorrow morning I need to go to Malaysian Embassy in Stockhlom to settle something. So, I don't think I'll have time to travel in Stockholm already as we are leaving on the day after tomorrow. Now, I'm just worry that they will ask me to go back to Malaysia to renew my passport.

So, maybe I should say, the trip started out good, but end up not so good. But, I met a Swedish on the plane and again I asked for recommendation of food and attractions and she was so nice and just so willing to help us. I seriously appreciated that as we don't have an actual plan in Stockholm. And in the police station, the policemen were nice too.

Anyway, just pray that tomorrow some miracles will happen.

Eight Life Principles for 2008

Below is a note from our church pastor:-

January 2008

Eight Life Principles for 2008

I was thinking of this upcoming year & wanted to invite you to consider some authentic ways to live out 2008. See how these principles can be applied to your life each day…

Be Thoughtful:
This means more than "to think." Everyone thinks. Being thoughtful means, thinking about someone other than yourself. It means creating a balance in your thought processes. It means taking time to consider others.

Be Thorough:
This principle implies that in every assignment-either given or created-there are guidelines to follow. It means that we should start at the beginning of a project and end at the ending, not the other way around. To complete what we start is a principle that works in any endeavor.

Be Orderly:
How can we expect to excel in something through disorganization? Some people apparently believe they can. At least, that is the way they run their lives. Nothing organized. Nothing planned. I call this the "Whatever will be, will be" lifestyle. Doris Day made a mint on the song, but we cannot.

Be Realistic:
Everyone is smart about something! This principle says, "Use your smarts to make sensible choices." This is not rocket science. It is life science! We already know our limits (or we should know them). Live within them!

Be Reliable:
People should be able to trust your word. If you say you will do something at a given time and place, follow through on it. Trust is the key word here.

Be Kind:
Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians, chapter 5. Being kind is rarely commanded in the Bible, but Paul left us a good one in Ephesians 4:32. Look it up! It should be on your "to-do" list for 2008.

Be Accountable:
To plan is to promise to do something. Fulfilling our promises is a principle that works where we live and work. Spiritual accountability means that God expects us to answer to those in authority over us.

Be Yourself:
It is foolish to try to be someone other than yourself. People recognize phony people by their phony behavior. Begin with yourself. Manage that. Then you can manage others.

The following prose was read at the funeral of Her Majesty the Queen Mother on April 2, 2002. Her husband, King George VI, began his Christmas address to the nation in 1939 with the reading as well. The piece by M. Louise Haskins is widely quoted in religious writings at the beginning of each year:

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year, "Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown." And he replied, "Go out into the darkness and put your hand in the hand of God. That shall be to you better than the light and safer than a known way." So, I went forth and finding the hand of God trod gladly into the night. And he led me toward the hills and the breaking of day....

May 2008 be a year of great encouragement for each of you as you draw near to God & walk in His ways.

God richly bless you.

Your Loving Shepherd,
Pastor Kevin

2008 Resolution

Every year, I though of making a list of new year resolution, but I never done one before. But, this year, I decided to do a list, and pray that I can achieve within this new year. Guyz, just pray for me, pray that I got the determination and courage to do it:

The list of things are:

1. Finish study the Bible at least once

2. Be water baptisted

3. Tell my parents about my conversion

4. Continue to do His will and His work, pledge myself to Him

5. Be righteous with Him

6. Learn to love, give and forgive people more

7. Spread His love, His word

8. Be more hardworking, study more, less gaming and movie time

9. Be a blessing of others, bless more people, do more things for future students of Moscow

10. Humble myself and pray more as nothing will happen without prayers

11. Learn more new things during my attachment in hospital

12. Travel more, see and learn more of other cultures

Guyz, I also need all your support, prayers and advice throughout this year. May God will purify my heart and draw me closer to Him this year. And I will be praying for these and your guyz too. Be safe, stay safe, be happy and may God bless you... :)

Dear Ivan,Evan,Jie Ying,Alex,Xin Yun & friends...

Dear Ivan,Evan,Jie Ying,Alex,Xin Yun & friends...

A friend of mine encouraged me to write this blog. And personally, I also would like to thank you guyz for bringing me to Christ. Since I invited Him into my heart, my life started to change. I am now not the previous "Tze Yang" that only though about things that Satan had used to distract people from God, money and fame and I am not the only victim of this lie of Satan. Why I think so? I asked some of my friends before:"In your opinion, what is the purpose of your life?" and the answer that I received is the answer that I will answer last time:"I want to be rich and famous." But now I understand that these will be like chasing wind, useless and pointless as Mr. Wise man Solomon did these before in Ecclesiastes. And the Bible says that a person cannot serve two masters. Last time, I though the purpose living on this planet is just making money or become 'famous' and people will remember me forever and these had made me totally ignored the importance or existance of God in my life and I though that things I got are things that I deserved. I never thought that they are blessing from above. I just though maybe it is luck. And I never knew that everything happened on me, good or bad, there is a purpose behind them. I never thought of He got a perfect plan for me. I used to plan a lot of things, things that I will be doing in future and I always wanted to be in the driver seat, I always wanted to take control of my life.

Since after the "you-know-what-happened" happened, you guyz knew that I am suffering from a few months of depression. But thanks, Ivan, thanks for the your reaction that day, thanks for your:"Ok, lets go!" (if you still remember what you said that day before we went to McD, I was not so close to you that time but when I am facing problems, you are the only one who just pop up and comfort me), this really touched my heart. Thanks for your prayer (I believed that you and Evan must be praying so hard for me). And thanks for introducing this special friend to me (I am listening to the song "Friend of God" now...haha...). Looking back, He was the only one who comfort me when you guyz are not around, He was there when I was crying alone in my room in the night (when you guyz asleep and I don't want to call up to disturb you guyz :P) and He never abandoned me throughout that period. And hereby, I also want to say sorry to you, Jie Ying. I knew I caused a lot of troubles to you that time, but praise God, He used you to let me know Him, blessed be His name. But, I am sorry and please forgive my foolishnes and selfishness.

Thanks Alex and Xin Yun, thanks for helping in my spiritual growth. Help me to thank your auntie also, Alex. And thanks Xin Yun for inviting me to your church.

Now, I just want you guyz know that I am doing fine now and I also want you guyz to know how God had used me, how I grew spiritually and mentally (but not physically, I am still very thin and "muscleless" :p) and opened doors for me past two years.

I think the plan to come to Moscow is one of God's brillant plans for me. For all countries that we can study medicine, but due to my results and financial condition of my family, the best place I can go is Moscow, which I had never even thought in my entire life that I will be studying here. And before I come here, Ivan, you gave me the book called:"Purpose Driven Life", remember? Thanks a lot. In Moscow, I can attend church without any restrictions or worries from my parents/family (if you still remember, they are unbelievers). Because of the book and attending church every Sunday, I started to understand what is called the true worship and God started to review my purpose here and my purpose in my life. I started to pray, asking God to use me. So, I volunteered myself,helping out in Children Ministry of my church. But, I feel that I am not so fit with it, I cannot click with children. I am too boring person to them :P. Then, the Malaysian Fellowship asking for volunteers to go to Volgograd for a missionary trip (That time when Ivan, you come to Moscow for sport days). And I don't know why, I just signed up and went there. That was the first time of my life to join missionary trips. I don't what I need to. And also, I was still a new Christian, knowing nothing much about Christianity and Bible. But this trip, besides planting seeds among the Russians, I was thought by just a bit of faith, we can do much more that we, a normal person can do. It is like just a bit of hardwork and faith, God will use these to do big miracles. I also found out that eventhough I am not a good preacher and know nothing much about the Bible, I still can serve Him in other way that I never though about before, throughout the whole trip, I was the cameraman. And since then, our "boss", Dalvin, always ask me to be cameraman for every event. I am so happy, because I never though that I can serve Him throught such way. And now, I joined the church Media Team, helping the church to take video of preachings and services. Thank God that He uses me, an unworthy person to serve Him. I learned that even that we are small, if we are willing to surrender ourselve to serve Him, He can do miracles through us. He sees the bottom of our heart.

I must admit that when I was back for my summer holiday, I never went to church. I was afraid, I scare that my parents will find out that I am going to church. But, thank God, He forgave me.

When I am back to Moscow, we need to "fight" to get a good hostel (I think Ivan understand this). And thank God, without paying any extra money or doing nothing like some people did here to get a room but cannot even get any rooms, I got a room in a very comfortable hostel. I did nothing except for praying, I prayed:"O God, just to it Your way, send me to any place that You think I should go". At first, God never review His purpose to send me here, until one day, our "boss" Dalvin said we should start a Malaysian Fellowship there. And now I understand. The fellowship started with just three to four of us Malaysians and one Indian, but we are praying it to grow.

The past Christmas, again, God had used us to perform miracles. You guyz can read my previous blog and you all will know what happened. I learned that we should give and as we give, we will receive more from above. God provides everything we need to make the Charity concert a success and He gave more than we required. We also successfully invited Jaclyn Victor here.Though we spent a lot of time doing things for the concert, we still can pass our controls and exams. Praise the Lord.

This new year, we are planning to do more for Him. Personally, one of my New Year Resolution is to finish reading the whole Bible. So, please continue to keep me in your prayers and also pray for our fellowship and plans for this new year, pray that God will continue to use us to spread His love. Pray for me, pray that this year God will give me the courage to tell my parents that I am a Christian now and I will be baptised soon, pray for their understading and pray for them one day, they will come to know Him. Pray for my auntie who are suffering from pancreatic cancer now in Malaysia.

I am writing this blog, not because I want to brag or show off as I already learned that all glory should go to Him (thanks to Jie Ying). I just hope that this will be a note of appreciation and encouragement to you guyz. I pray that through this blog, we can encourage and remind each other to serve God more. :) And I will praying for you guyz, may God guide you wherever you go and whatever you do and may God provides everything you need and good health and all the best in everything you are doing.

Happy belated Christmas and New Year. May God richly bless you and your family...